TOPIC: Vaslav Nijinksy, Dennis Cooper, Michael Clark: the search for enlightenment through pain; a cross analysis of desire, voyeurism, and sex

 

Describe: Think about your topic in terms of the five senses. What does it look like? What color is it? What does it smell, taste, sound, or feel like?

 

What exactly is my topic? Tortured, artistic men and their methods. emasculation. gay men and their obsession with themselves, violence, gender repression 

 

Sight: a pale purple, a deep maroon, almost black, it looks like distorted cut up bodies, seeing something foggy through a window

Smell: after rain

Taste: metallic like blood

Sound: a sigh, heavy, world weary

Feel: paling, peeling, wasting, shrinking, collapsing, cold, 

 

Compare: What is your topic similar to? What is its exact opposite?

 

Similar to depictions of females in pain - I am thinking of Sylvia Plath - maybe I should read the Bell Jar? I saw that woman at the airport with a copy, she was so thin and struggled to get her bag off the baggage claim carousel. I saw her book on the ground, haphazardly tossed, as if the ground isn’t dirty or uncivilized, although we all know that it is. It is also similar to the great gothics of the south. I'm also thinking of princesses trapped in a tower for some reason. 

 

The exact opposite may be tales of clownish, light people. Little house on the prairie or something. That may be the opposite, actually. Little house on the prairie. Hard, honest work by kind, honest people. Family drama at the centerpiece. Little hedonism.

 

Associate: What does your topic remind you of? When you close your eyes and think about your topic, what pops into your head?

 

I think about feminist movements from the early 2010’s - i think specifically about this girl from my high school and how she used to always complain about men being so tortured and terrible. Never trust a tortured man, etc. they are pathetic and kind of ridiculous or something. I wonder if that stands true when they are gay. I think of sex and how much i like it. I think i want someone to tie me up and slowly draw cuts in my skin and then lick them. My roommate just walked in so now i have completely lost my train of thought about this actually. And i am kind of horny now.

 

What else do i think of? I think also of eating disorders and purity and god. I think of the desire to be nothing. I think of endless desires. I think of the opposite - withstanding empty time with steadfast ease. 

 

I think about my time during the pandemic and all of the disgusting and depraved psychologies i found inside myself. I think about nijinsky and being trans. I think about being trans. I think about social isolation and a drive towards death (freud). I think about how little i know of these things in theory but how my own experience has taught me how when your mind breaks down, these are the things that are left. I think of underworlds. I think about how i want to be pure.

 

Analyze: Think about the parts of your topic and how they work together. Tell what causes your topic, how it emerges/emerged, what causes or influences it, and how it can be categorized or grouped.

​
 

Apply: What can you do with your topic? How can your subject be used productively? What good does your subject do anyone?

 

This is a great question. Come to embrace your own depravities maybe?

​